Jack's adult baboon walk

You're probably getting the picture by now that the baboons were a little tricky to deal with at times. The babies were enough of a handful, but the ultimate challenge thrown down to us was the chance to go for a walk with the adult baboons.

You have to be pretty robust to cope with the adults, because they weigh up to 45kgs and are likely to leap on your back from several metres away. And it's bad enough when a baby baboon pees on you while sitting on your shoulders, so I can only imagine what it must be like with an adult.

When an adult baboon sits on your shoulders, it tends to put its hands on your head and tuck its fingers in your eye sockets to help it grip on. Then when it jumps off again, it pushes off with its hands and nearly pokes your eyes out in the process.

For some reason it was usually the male volunteers, fuelled by a rush of testosterone, that would put themselves forward to go on the adult baboon walk. Only two volunteers were allowed to go at any one time, along with two members of staff and one of the local bushmen who also carried a big stick.

One such guy - let's call him Jack (because that is his name) - had no hesitation in putting his hand up. Up to this point, Jack had actually had very little interaction with the baboons. He hadn't even been out for a walk with the baby baboons. But he'd had one single baboon cuddle up to him the night before, which lulled him into a false sense of security that this would be a walk in the park. Well, it was a walk in the bush, but certainly no walk in the park.

Who wants to go on the adult baboon walk?

We were always told that you must never react when the baboons bite you. If you flinch or show any fear, they will pick up on it and attack you even more. Surveying his 6-foot plus stature and bushy beard, the baboons clearly thought Jack was alpha-male material and a potential threat to the troop's hierarchy. Within minutes of them getting out, Jack was bitten on the leg, the arm, the side of his stomach, the back and to finish things off, right on the testicles.

The bushman turned around to him and expressed surprise that he didn't scream, to which Jack countered, "Dude, you told me 50 times not to scream. " He then issued a warning to the baboons: "Do that again and the whole tribe is going down."

Two minutes later, one of the alpha males climbed up and bit Jack on the bottom lip, with its top teeth actually inside his mouth. It was at this point that Jack decided that the "never say no to a baboon" policy was up for re-negotiation. So when the staff weren't looking, the next baboon that jumped up got punched through the air to land flat on its back and wonder what the hell had just happened.

Then the baboon that bit him on the lip came back, but this time to offer what seemed to be just an affectionate kiss. I doubt that the baboons at Naankuse have ever been head-butted before - at least by a human - but they met their match that day.


It was after this that the two alpha males recognised Jack as a god to be worshipped and walked in docile fashion on either side of him, attacking any other baboons that dared to come near. The bushman noted this change of behaviour - "see, they like you now" - blissfully unaware of Jack's defence strategy.

Jack also claims to have wreaked his revenge by pissing on the baboons as well - just as they had done on him. Indeed, Jack's rendition of his adult baboon walk grew with every telling and had us crying with laughter for the remainder of our days at Naankuse.

Jack the Baboon Whisperer